31.4 PARENTS AND RELATIVES, al aabaa & al aqaarib

By Professor Omar Hasan Kasule Sr.

31.4.1 GOOD TREATMENT OF PARENTS, birr al waalidayn:

The Qur'an has in many verses enjoined good treatment of parents. Good treatment of parents is one of the most loved work to Allah, is a reason for entering heaven, and has great rewards. Good treatment covers both the father and the mother. The mother has preference in companionship. Birr al walidayn includes doing good for them, honoring them, praying for them, and extending the good treatment to their friends. The friends must be respected during the life and after the death of the parents.



Parents must be respected and never shown any contempt whatever their behavior. Each spouse should show consideration to the parents of the other spouse like his or her own parents. Talking to parents must be polite without raising the voice. Righteous parents should be followed. Parents must be obeyed as long as they do not order committing a sin. Their reputation and wealth must be kept. Attempts must be made to do what pleases them. They must be consulted in all matters and apologies must be offered them if for some reason their advice cannot be followed. There must be an immediate response when parents call. Kindness and generosity to parents in their senility and weakness is only a partial repayment of their efforts when the children were young. Gratitude for the parents' suffering and sacrifices must be shown. Their friends must be treated with generosity. The following are done for them: standing up to greet them, kissing their head, helping them with their work, and visiting frequently.


31.4.3 MISTREATMENT OF PARENTS, uquuq al walidayn:.

Parents cannot be abused, insulted, or cursed. Cursing or mistreating parents is considered one of the major sins and leads to severe punishment. Allah responds to parents' dua against their children. The voice should not be raised in the presence of parents. Parents must always be told the truth and no lies should ever be told to them whatever the excuse. The grandchildren and spouses cannot be preferred above parents in any situation. Generosity must be extended to parents; miserliness to them should be avoided. Parents of others should never be mistreated or insulted. They may insult your parents as a return and you will have caused injury to your own parents.



The near kindred are described in the sunnat. The Qur’an enjoins good treatment of the near kindred. This includes feeding them, giving them financial support, , joining kindred relations, and loving them. They have definite rights that should not be violated and these include rights of inheritance as enunciated in the law of inheritance. There is great reward for joining kindred relations. A person is rewarded for good companionship with relations. It is sin to cut off kindred relations. Doing good for relations is expiation from sins. Kindred relations are more deserving of charity. It is duty to call the kindred relations to Islam. However love for kindred relations should not stand in the way of establishing the truth.



Islam teaches joining kindred relations and castigates cutting them off. The extended family is supposed to be an association for mutual material and psychological support. Good relations within this association ensure that help will be available at the time of need.

(c) Professor Omar Hasan Kasule Sr. 2004